The Power of Choice

The strongest principle of success lies in our god-given gift of free-will, known more commonly as CHOICE.

Our choices and decisions weave the fabric of our lives.

“Michelle, I don’t get it. Please explain.”

“Absolutely.”
In every moment we have 3 choices to make.

Most of us know the first way:

Freeze---Do nothing out of fear or confusion.

Some of us know the second way:

Fight---Push and struggle to get what we want.

There is a better way, a higher way, a divine way:

Flow---Go with the current of our life river, to relax and let go.

The Divine Way brings us
Passion
Possibility
Success
Happiness
Fulfillment
Love
Health
Wealth

Make sense?” Yes?
So ask yourself,

Where do I expend most of my vital life energy?

If you are like 95% of the population, you default to way #1 and #2 (freezing/ fighting and getting no where fast).

Let other people settle for mediocre lives, but NOT YOU!

You can choose courage

You can decide on a direction

You can choose creativity

You can decide your destiny

Learn to FLOW!

When you use the power of choice and make spiritually smart life decisions (in relationships, career, health, and wealth) you begin to consciously co-create your divine life---the life you were born to live.

In every moment of your life, you have the power to choose and some choices lead to a default, hum-drum life and some to a divine, passionate, purposeful, and adventuresome life.

Which will you choose today?

Make the choice to get the perspective, support, and accountability you need to graduate from your current circumstances and lead a happier, more fulfilling life.

Make the choice to get a coach.

Path to Success and Soul Business Radio Show Archives

Just a quick reminder, the Path to Success Telesummit starts this week.

http://www.budurl.com/pathtos

Are you looking for inspired methods to create your path to success?

The Your Path to Success: Jump Start the Joy in Your Life Telesummit is the event designed to truly move you forward in your path to creating a successful and joy filled life.
This FREE telesummit is March 8 - March 19, 2010. "
I invite you to discover, create and live Your OWN path to success!

During the telesummit, you will learn from top experts in their fields (including yours truly on 3/15).

What would your life be like if you could:

Dive Into Your Inner Brilliance and Master Your Inner Game
Enjoy Greater Everyday Inner Peace, as You Realize Your Inspired Goals
-Live Your Ideal Life -Get and Stay Organized
-Create Authentic Relationships
-Live Joyfully and Successfully
- No Matter What
-Empower Your Life
-Discover 5 Keys to Clarity
-Create Success the Heart Centered Way...

And more..

To learn more about the expert presenters and to sign up, Click here http://www.budurl.com/pathtos

By the way, if you have missed the last couple Soul Business Radio shows, you are missing some deep and compelling conversations about fear, doubt, and the unconscious.

Visit http://www.soulbusinessradio.com to listen to the archives 24 x7....people are saying there is a great balance of masculine and feminine energy, intelligence and intuition to our show.

let's get and stay connected! Bright Michelle

Heal Your Soul with Emotional Support to Attract...

There are two parts of you--- an ego and your soul.

The ego is the false you, a mask constructed to help get your emotional needs met. Based on feedback from other egos, you create a persona that is likeable and acceptable to others.

Your soul is your true essence, and this part of you is unlimited, original and eternal. Your soul is here to express itself and to shine brightly and radiantly, despite what other egos might think.

As we march into 2010, which holds the promise of every great thing, you are at a choice point.

How do you choose which path to take. the lower, boring, mediocre road or the higher, exciting and divine road?

Perhaps you reflect back over your life and realize how much more happiness, success, love, andpeace you could have experienced if you had thought or acted with a higher consciousness.

Maybe you look ahead and have big dreams that you secretly wish to accomplish but find that little devil called doubt creeping in much too often, and find yourself right back into "default mode."

Maybe you have awoken to the fact that whenever you settle for less than your hearts desires, it does not work out anyway.

And maybe just maybe, you finally realize that it will never work because it is not what is meant for you.

I know what it is like...I was stumbling and struggling along for years, just barely making it by financially and emotionally. I was low on the resources of love and money. When I started learning my lessons, taking notice, becoming self-aware, I began to trust myself and the universe to truly take care of me. When I began to trust, I began to let go of the steering wheel, and allow myself to enjoy the ride, putting God in charge of my destination.

After literally bumping my head several times in dangerous car accidents, a few broken hearts, and a starving bank account, I decided it was time to wake up from the trance and start enjoying the dance!

So here's the Truth as I know it.

You are encoded for greatness, and by accepting less than your heart's desires, you are not living up to your fullest potential.

Now is the time to make a lasting change in your consciousness. You can choose to create a new life with better and happier outcomes.

However, if you are divided in your heart or worse yet, an Ego is in charge, this year (and every year henceforth) will turn out much like the last year, disappointing.

ACIM teaches that the ego fears change because it associates it with death/annihilation.

So what is your soul to do?

Your inner self thrives on learning, change and growth.

Answer: Get Emotional Support and Mentoring.

My brand of Soul Coaching gets to the heart of the matter in light speed. Clients receive the benefits of unconditional acceptance, encouragement, knowledge to move them forward, and structure to keep them on the right track.

Whether you receive support from me or someone else, I challenge you to reach out and ask for assistance in your personal evolution. There are many amazingly gifted professionals in the field of emotional healing---try a new modality. See a reiki master, yoga teacher, resonance repatterning practitioner, or personal coach and begin to shift your consciousness, grow yoursoul, and attract more happiness and success.

Dr. Michelle L. Casto

The Soul Coach, Speaker and Author

Bright Light Coach

Dr. Michelle knows there is a divine spark within you waiting to be activated. Her life's work is to help you come up with bright ideas for your life and empower you to freely shine your bright light in the world. She works with an exclusive list of personal clients and leads innovative group coaching programs.

Everyday Enlightenment E-Store

Discover what's next for your soul's evolution

Personal Growth Products for the Spiritually Smart

http://www.getsmartseries.com

The Drama & Defining Moment in Romantic Love

continued.....this is part II and III

The Drama
If you are stuck on a track that goes nowhere, you not growing. When you are not growing, your heart is not open and your spirit starts to shut down. In this emotional state you tend to vacillate from mania to numbness. Exiting is the only remedy for the sickness associated with this ride. You have probably tried many time-out talks that included “calls to action” where promises were made but never kept. That is because there is just enough good stuff to keep you around, mixed in with fear and intimidation. On the crazy train, there will be many moments of frustration, anxiety, tears and fears. In other words--- Drama. Why do you do the drama? Because you think it is amusing.

Drama is a key component of this kind of relationship. You will find passion here, in many ways that are important, like good sexual chemistry, etc. But there is another even more powerful passion at work. The kind that makes you go crazy, get defensive, throw tantrums, sulk and shut down. This is not the good kind of passion.

This kind of passion is left over childhood anger or rage from when we didn’t get our needs met. To attempt to resolve this ache in our hearts, we hook up with a partner and try like hell to get them met through that other person. What a trap---they are often perfectly wired to hit our hottest buttons.

Relationships teach us about ourselves. So this is good, because at any moment during the ride, you can wake up and make a different choice on how you want to respond. On this ride, you are in total control of how fast, slow, gut wrenching, heart pounding, and scary you will let it become. There will come a day when you will finally have had enough of the self-inflicted craziness. This day is your defining moment.

The Defining Moment
A defining moment for me came when I was journaling about my first husband. I found in the back of my journal a letter that was addressed to him that was four years old. In the letter, I was expressing the same concerns and requests that I was in the present. Ironically enough, the letter’s actual date was October 12, 2000. Our wedding was October 12, 2002. That means before I even got married, I knew the ride I was in for, but still I made the commitment. Now you are probably saying she should have seen it coming--” he wasn’t likely to change.

Who really knows? All I can say is I guess I hadn’t gotten the lesson yet, and needed to keep riding, and marriage was the only way I was really going to experience what I needed to experience. I’m sure I also had a romantic illusion that it would improve.

Wrong. The first year of marriage was awful---all the things in that letter were there magnified by ten! I could barely recognize this man. I was in shock and disbelief for the entire first year and kept thinking make it stop. Finally after riding along for another year, (and couple’s counseling) I had that moment when I was like what am I doing? I deserve more. This is not amusing and I need to get off this roller coaster ride.

Maybe you don’t even like roller coasters, but have been riding because your partner liked them. You do have a right to your own feelings and to say this ride is not for me. In fact, that is the bravest thing you can do. But if you do find yourself on the crazy train, realize that you have the power to make it stop.

Just exit the relationship. And do not get back in line for another ride!

In relationships, you always have 4 choices: stay put, move forward, go backward, or exit. If you want out, get out. Get clear on what you want next and what you have learned. And then make the decision to leave. Stick to it. Get extra support from friends and family. Do not allow him or her to talk you back into staying. It is just a ploy—after all, this is their favorite ride, look at all the cheap thrills they get at your expense!

This ride makes them feel good. But if you don’t feel good and enjoy the ride, it’s high time to go.

Getting off the Crazy Train roller coaster ride of relationships—Part I

Do you love amusement rides? When I was a girl growing up I loved roller coasters, the faster, more intense, the crazier the better. What a rush! What a thrill. I remember on my favorite, The Beast---I would get off and run to get back in line to do it all again. Pure adrenaline addiction. It was a teenage love affair between beauty and the beast. That was great when I was thirteen.

I mean, I really loved riding The Beast, but wouldnt want to do it every day for the rest of my life!

As an adult, I still have a need for excitement and thrills, so what is a girl to do? What everyone does for so-called excitement-- romantic relationships. By far, the wildest ride out there in Romantic Love Land is the infamous Crazy Train---where you will experience the thrill of excitement, anticipation, and expectation followed by the fall, where your stomach drops out, then you are racing through the darkness of the confusion tunnel, ending with the abrupt finish—all the while squealing with delight and fear.

A popular self-help definition of insanity is doing the same thing in the same way over and over expecting different results. Wow, is this ever true in many romantic relationships. We want love so badly that we are willing to ride a relationship out until it literally makes us sick. When we get used to the ups and downs of bad behavior and start to believe that is a normal way to have a relationship, we get a little crazy.

Modern love serves to help us grow and evolve---to raise our awareness/consciousness. If you feel stuck in a rut and can’t seem to move forward, or cannot feel peace and contentment---get off the ride and take a look around.

Chances are you got on the crazy train coaster instead of the smooth and peaceful looking one you saw in the brochure. This emotional roller coaster has lots of highs and lows, twists and turns, but yet just keeps running the same course again and again, never really evolving. You know you are in one if you have the reasons for fights and the scripts that go with them burned in your brain.

In other words, you are stuck on a ride you desperately want to change.

Beware
There is no changing it, only exiting from it.

***This is a 5 part series leading up to a Happy Valentines for YOU

The Cycle of Abuse in a Narcissistic Relationship

Continued from the special report I wrote in 2006 when I divorced the first NPD in my life.

Narcissistic men use the women in their lives to stay alive and feel good. In exchange for getting to be with them, you become a servant to His needs. He will want your complete submission to him, but you will hold back because you feel something is not quite right, and can’t seem to really trust him. You are right about these feelings, but are too far in the dark to see the truth. The cycle of abuse starts right you meet him and continues until you finally see the light.

The Seduction Stage
When you first meet him, the narcissistic man is quite mysterious. He has well- developed seduction techniques that can literally charm the pants right off you! The air of mystery adds to the excitement, as most women do desire to be taken and claimed by a real man. You blindly believe he is such a man, only to find out later and after much confusion, that he was only an actor playing a part.

Realize that you never really know a narcissist because he will only tell you what he wants you to know and reveals what is useful in winning you over. In the beginning, he will over-value you. He will make you feel like you are the most amazing woman. He will seduce you with dinner, massage, flowers, whatever it takes to get you under his spell. He will look right into your eyes and hypnotize you with sweet talk. Narcissists are masters at emotional manipulation, so it is easy to fall for it. Once you open and trust, you are in the lair.

The Abuse Stage
After awhile you will find that you are no longer seen as the chosen one, rather, you now receive the brunt of his constant frustration and anger about how life is not working out how he thinks it should be. You are the reason for everything that goes wrong. You are judged, blamed, criticized, made to feel inadequate, etc. Verbal attacks can lead to physical attacks.

A Narcissist man (and woman for that matter) is a master of manipulation and not capable of real human feelings. He studies human behavior and mimics emotions to get the desired reaction from other people. You will begin to think you are crazy or emotionally unstable because: 1). He tells you that 2). He can twist conversations around until you forget your initial concern.

You will be in shock and disbelief and wonder what you did to cause such mistreatment.

It is not your fault. He is an abuser. He has a disorder (Narcissistic Personality Disorder.)

The Sustenance Stage

At this point, you are trapped in the lair trying to get your bearings. The abuse continues but now you are de-valued. He feels justified for abusing you. When he sees you, he sees what is on his inner screen (and it is not pretty!). No matter what you do, you will never be the equal and radiant co-star at the beginning of the movie. In fact, in his mind you have been demoted to personal assistant. You exist to do his bidding. What you do as a human being is not important or valued.

For instance, you are in business for yourself and you share that you got a new client. Instead of a normal response of “hey that’s great, tell me more.” You will hear something like how much are they going to pay? Why can’t you get more clients? To get any kind of respect at all, you have to produce---more money, more attention, more admiration. By now his addiction to you has grown and he requires more from his supplier. You are his drug. He needs more of you and yet does not value what he takes from you.

The sad thing is you were never valued in the first place.

If you suspect, you are involved in an NPD I implore you to do more research on it and emotional abuse. The best thing you can ever do for your soul is to LEAVE and run to the light of a New Day.

The Dark Side of Romantic Love: NPD

I am ending the second of a long-term relationship with someone that may have Narcisstic Personality Disorder. It's interesting, as they both were very similar...dark hair, Aquarians from the northeast. They also knew exactly what to say and do to get me to fall for them. The first lasted 8 years, the second, just 2, so I am definitely learning to see the signs ahead of time, and yet, feel disappointed to have re-created this pattern again.

I know that I am not alone, though, there may be many of you reading this right now who are feeling the drain of your positive and light filled-energy with someone who cannot access the center of their heart.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but this Valentine's day you be involved in a battle of the wills instead of blessing of the souls and you may actually be sleeping with a modern-day vampire---otherwise known as a Narcissist. Because Narcissists are such great actors, they will convince you how much they care for you, leaving you lifeless before you see the light of day.

Sam Vaknin, a Narcissist who wrote the book, Malignant Self-Love has called narcissism the mental epidemic of the 21^st century and has said it insidiously infects people who have daily contact with a narcissist. The psychological definition of narcissism is an all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy and behavior), with a strong need for admiration or adulation, a lack of empathy, usually beginning early in adulthood. Narcissists are overly obsessed with their image and are driven by their insatiable ego towards a ruthless and never-ending pursuit of gratification, dominance, and ambition. It comes with no surprise that 50-75% are male.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder that may be a result of childhood abuse from family, authority figures, or peers. There are two kinds of narcissists: cerebral (intelligence and academic achievements) and somatic (physical or sexual prowess of conquests). When you have NPD, there is no pill you can take to fix it. It is a condition you have to learn to live with and manage. Contrary to popular myth, a narcissist does not love himself, in fact, he often loathes himself and is thus driven to self-denial and bizarre coping mechanisms. A romantic relationship to someone with NDP is a source of life-giving energy that often leads to verbal and emotional abuse.

One tell-tale sign is not being able to get some of your important needs met....they will only give you what they want to give you and nothing more. You can ask until you are blue in the face and they just are unable to comprehend and respond in a kind-hearted manner.

***This is an excerpt of a special report, and you can email me if you would to receive the full report.

Next time I will reveal the stages of seduction that you will probably be drawn into.